Tuesday , May 30 2017
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Hey, Facebook: Keep your nose out of my Valentine’s Day

Dear Facebook,
While I appreciate you thinking you control all aspects of my life, I am respectfully asking you to stop suggesting gifts for my Valentine.

surprise1Your sea salt caramels sound delicious, but I already have Valentine’s Day figured out. And those honey jelly beans, clearly a bargain at just $1, wouldn’t go over well because my Valentine isn’t a huge fan of honey.

Considering everything you know about us, how is it that you didn’t know she’s not a honey lover? Hmmmm. Odd.

You should probably know that Twitter has not contacted me. Neither has Instagram or Pinterest, and I’m pretty active on those sites.

But my personal feelings aside, I can only imagine all the people who are clicking on your wares. I’m sure many significant others forgot about Valentine’s Day or just didn’t care to do anything special. So while you might have their thanks, I’m on to you. I know what you are trying to do.

Anyhow, that’s it. Just let me handle the Valentine’s celebration. If I have any photos of delicious dinners or cocktails, I’ll be sure to post them. It’s a good thing you don’t have an unlike button, because I’d be pressing it something fierce right about now.

Thanks, Facebook. Hope you enjoy your Valentine’s Day.


About Scott Kleinberg

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